My kiddos can now do everything short of rent a car. V weird.

Mar 29, 2018 at 8:39 PM
My kiddos can now do everything short of rent a car. V weird.
~ from Facebook

Trying to learn the entire ukulele in two days has been rough on my poor widdle fingers. 😢 I’m assuming my left hand — tbh, the right one too — will figure this shizz out eventually. If you want to see the fruits of my labors, come on out to the next True Stories on April 11th and sing along.

at 8:16 PM
Trying to learn the entire ukulele in two days has been rough on my poor widdle fingers. 😢 I’m assuming my left hand — tbh, the right one too — will figure this shizz out eventually. If you want to see the fruits of my labors, come on out to the next True Stories on April 11th and sing along.
~ from Facebook

Zack bought a collapsible laundry basket and I can’t walk past it without saying “collapsible!” At least I’m not accordion-folding it every time anymore.

Mar 26, 2018 at 4:30 PM
Zack bought a collapsible laundry basket and I can’t walk past it without saying “collapsible!” At least I’m not accordion-folding it every time anymore.
~ from Facebook

The internet has made my dry sense of humor even drier now that it’s in print form. I’m a freaking Sahara jokester now.

at 8:03 AM
The internet has made my dry sense of humor even drier now that it’s in print form. I’m a freaking Sahara jokester now.
~ from Facebook

I think I’ll cut off my nose to spite my face. #murica 🙄

Mar 25, 2018 at 11:31 AM
I think I’ll cut off my nose to spite my face. #murica 🙄
~ from Facebook

My mixed politics positions are confusing my podcast recommendations. The assumptions that I was red followed my listening to right wingers for research. My listening to a professorial breakdown of Harry Potter and feminism now has my list recommending very blue podcasts... why try to typecast me? Why assume I’m of one mind with any particular clump of others?

at 10:06 AM
My mixed politics positions are confusing my podcast recommendations. The assumptions that I was red followed my listening to right wingers for research. My listening to a professorial breakdown of Harry Potter and feminism now has my list recommending very blue podcasts... why try to typecast me? Why assume I’m of one mind with any particular clump of others?
~ from Facebook

Took a nap at the Renn faire. Accidentally happy.

Mar 24, 2018 at 2:18 PM
Took a nap at the Renn faire. Accidentally happy.
~ from Facebook

More oil and water today.

at 6:43 AM
More oil and water today.
~ from Facebook

Gah! Your politicking is too politicky for me today. I’m just going to go back to work and listen to my feel good songs. #headinsand

Mar 23, 2018 at 4:10 PM
Gah! Your politicking is too politicky for me today. I’m just going to go back to work and listen to my feel good songs. #headinsand
~ from Facebook

I need to write a book on not being an idiot online. And then immediately go back in time and erase everything stupid I ever said in social media so that my book doesn’t get mocked or trolled, but instead reaches universal critical accolades. That could happen online, right?

Mar 20, 2018 at 7:10 AM
I need to write a book on not being an idiot online. And then immediately go back in time and erase everything stupid I ever said in social media so that my book doesn’t get mocked or trolled, but instead reaches universal critical accolades. That could happen online, right?
~ from Facebook

So, artful means ‘wily and adroit’ to me, because that’s the real definition that was drilled into me in my education but since so many people use it to mean ‘performed artistically’ that it’s become accepted as the primary meaning WITHIN MY LIFETIME .... well it’s causing me to have to grind to a halt mid-assumption quite often while listening to others speak. There aren’t many words that have flipped on a dime during my lifetime.

Mar 19, 2018 at 2:23 PM
So, artful means ‘wily and adroit’ to me, because that’s the real definition that was drilled into me in my education but since so many people use it to mean ‘performed artistically’ that it’s become accepted as the primary meaning WITHIN MY LIFETIME .... well it’s causing me to have to grind to a halt mid-assumption quite often while listening to others speak. There aren’t many words that have flipped on a dime during my lifetime.
~ from Facebook

What was your childhood nickname?

Mar 18, 2018 at 10:02 PM
What was your childhood nickname?
~ from Facebook

Leftover question from childhood: The Koolaid man is made of GLASS, so how does he not break when knocking down walls?

at 6:44 PM
Leftover question from childhood: The Koolaid man is made of GLASS, so how does he not break when knocking down walls?
~ from Facebook

I just went over to my moms and help her put together a bed. I can’t tell you how much I love assembling furniture. I’m being honest, it’s one of my favorite things to do.

at 1:25 PM
I just went over to my moms and help her put together a bed. I can’t tell you how much I love assembling furniture. I’m being honest, it’s one of my favorite things to do.
~ from Facebook

I'll bet that we humans didn't invent the plow. I'll bet the first ornery aurox invented the plow. We tied him to a tree near a field and he said, "eff that", walked away dragging the tree, and boom, invented the plow.

Mar 17, 2018 at 8:54 PM
I'll bet that we humans didn't invent the plow. I'll bet the first ornery aurox invented the plow. We tied him to a tree near a field and he said, "eff that", walked away dragging the tree, and boom, invented the plow.
~ from Facebook

Amazon just offered me a big discount deal on their surveillance device cum maniacal laughter machine. #ImGonnaPass #echoechoecho

Mar 16, 2018 at 3:56 PM
Amazon just offered me a big discount deal on their surveillance device cum maniacal laughter machine. #ImGonnaPass #echoechoecho
~ from Facebook

The older I get the more I recognize that people are entirely the source of their own day to day troubles. Folks will “I’m right” themselves straight to hell.

at 7:51 AM
The older I get the more I recognize that people are entirely the source of their own day to day troubles. Folks will “I’m right” themselves straight to hell.
~ from Facebook

Which is worse as a receipt, a flimsy slip of slippery tissue paper OR when you get a full size sheet of letter sized paper?

Mar 14, 2018 at 4:37 PM
Which is worse as a receipt, a flimsy slip of slippery tissue paper OR when you get a full size sheet of letter sized paper?
~ from Facebook

So I figured out how to get people to care about climate change. VANITY. Whenever climate change occurs in the directions we are headed now, bodies grow larger, and not always in pretty ways, so unless you want to weigh 500 pounds and have big barrel chests, you need to start living sustainably.

Mar 11, 2018 at 9:01 PM
So I figured out how to get people to care about climate change. VANITY. Whenever climate change occurs in the directions we are headed now, bodies grow larger, and not always in pretty ways, so unless you want to weigh 500 pounds and have big barrel chests, you need to start living sustainably.
~ from Facebook

Is the plural of walrus walri?

at 8:52 PM
Is the plural of walrus walri?
~ from Facebook

1. Day off having to go anywhere, so bra freedom. 2. I have no idea whose pants I’m wearing but they sure are comfy.

at 9:43 AM
1. Day off having to go anywhere, so bra freedom. 2. I have no idea whose pants I’m wearing but they sure are comfy.
~ from Facebook

Is tonight really the last ever clock correction for daylight savings in Florida??

Mar 10, 2018 at 3:07 PM
Is tonight really the last ever clock correction for daylight savings in Florida??
~ from Facebook

This is me trying to get home from literally three blocks away. Taking me 20 minutes so far, traffic is totally crazy.

Mar 9, 2018 at 5:28 PM
This is me trying to get home from literally three blocks away. Taking me 20 minutes so far, traffic is totally crazy.
~ from Facebook

I might get a bike today. My Major commute is less than a mile. Seems like biking it would be fun.

Mar 4, 2018 at 9:02 AM
I might get a bike today. My Major commute is less than a mile. Seems like biking it would be fun.
~ from Facebook

Claire woke me up at 5:34 am pouncing and kneading me, with a sudden emergency that her food bowl wasn’t perfectly full. I’m walking out with her leading the way, she’s purring and scraping on everything on the way out there, I fix her food, she doesn’t EAT anything but is satisfied and happy and is now sleeping on my feet. Cats are weird.

Mar 3, 2018 at 5:47 AM
Claire woke me up at 5:34 am pouncing and kneading me, with a sudden emergency that her food bowl wasn’t perfectly full. I’m walking out with her leading the way, she’s purring and scraping on everything on the way out there, I fix her food, she doesn’t EAT anything but is satisfied and happy and is now sleeping on my feet. Cats are weird.
~ from Facebook

We as a planetary people need to form more effective bodies whose sole function is to find real causality and repair the causes of the primary crises of the world — and who are only rewarded for success. My opinion of the biggest crises facing humanity are : 1. Toxicity (covers drugs, pollution, warming and radioactivity) 2. Devolution (covers loss of structure, familial instability, social degradation, poor educational systems). 3. Disharmony (covers greed, war, trafficking and inequality). This is how I see it. Jabber isn’t fixing shit. Make each of the three problems someone’s job. If it’s too much for them, make it a thousand someone’s job.

Mar 1, 2018 at 1:57 PM
We as a planetary people need to form more effective bodies whose sole function is to find real causality and repair the causes of the primary crises of the world — and who are only rewarded for success. My opinion of the biggest crises facing humanity are : 1. Toxicity (covers drugs, pollution, warming and radioactivity) 2. Devolution (covers loss of structure, familial instability, social degradation, poor educational systems). 3. Disharmony (covers greed, war, trafficking and inequality). This is how I see it. Jabber isn’t fixing shit. Make each of the three problems someone’s job. If it’s too much for them, make it a thousand someone’s job.
~ from Facebook