I’m glad I was wearing my fit bit when the sparks from the fireplace jumped out and I had to scramble to make sure they were all out. I probably doubled my activity and possibly heart rate for the day in the thirty seconds afterward.

Dec 30, 2017 at 11:38 PM
I’m glad I was wearing my fit bit when the sparks from the fireplace jumped out and I had to scramble to make sure they were all out. I probably doubled my activity and possibly heart rate for the day in the thirty seconds afterward.
~ from Facebook

To survive in today’s world you have to be insanely over the top productive. Nose to the grind stone burning the midnight elbow grease.

at 8:46 PM
To survive in today’s world you have to be insanely over the top productive. Nose to the grind stone burning the midnight elbow grease.
~ from Facebook

It’s odd to me that folks lamenting the loss of bees mention that we’ll lose avocados and coffee. Whoever wrote that must not realize that the avocado toast crowd is already 100% behind saving the bees. Someone needs to make an impassioned appeal based on losing barbecue sauce and hot dog buns and start slinging that one around the web.

at 2:45 PM
It’s odd to me that folks lamenting the loss of bees mention that we’ll lose avocados and coffee. Whoever wrote that must not realize that the avocado toast crowd is already 100% behind saving the bees. Someone needs to make an impassioned appeal based on losing barbecue sauce and hot dog buns and start slinging that one around the web.
~ from Facebook

My lawn service guy just told me 1. he didn’t have any change for my large bill but took the whole thing anyway 2. he doesn’t do leaves despite that I originally hired him for the whole shebang. 3. He doesn’t take any app. At all. Obviously, I need a new lawn guy. Anyone have any suggestions?

at 9:41 AM
My lawn service guy just told me 1. he didn’t have any change for my large bill but took the whole thing anyway 2. he doesn’t do leaves despite that I originally hired him for the whole shebang. 3. He doesn’t take any app. At all. Obviously, I need a new lawn guy. Anyone have any suggestions?
~ from Facebook

I miss when security cameras were big boxes that swiveled back and forth. At least then, you knew when you were being watched. Now, they’re tiny upside down geodomes on the ceiling or pinhole cameras inside other things. It’s less obtrusive, but now I’m leery of pretty much any public changing room or bathroom. 😕

Dec 28, 2017 at 3:08 PM
I miss when security cameras were big boxes that swiveled back and forth. At least then, you knew when you were being watched. Now, they’re tiny upside down geodomes on the ceiling or pinhole cameras inside other things. It’s less obtrusive, but now I’m leery of pretty much any public changing room or bathroom. 😕
~ from Facebook

What if it turns out global warming is being cause by the massive uptick in pagan midwinter warmth rituals we’re all doing by bringing an evergreen indoors and putting lights on it?

Dec 25, 2017 at 7:44 AM
What if it turns out global warming is being cause by the massive uptick in pagan midwinter warmth rituals we’re all doing by bringing an evergreen indoors and putting lights on it?
~ from Facebook

‘Guesstimate’ is somehow redundant all by its lonesome.

Dec 24, 2017 at 5:14 PM
‘Guesstimate’ is somehow redundant all by its lonesome.
~ from Facebook

I’m turning the AC way down ❄️ so I can have a Christmas Eve fireplace... 🔥 #florida

at 3:51 PM
I’m turning the AC way down ❄️ so I can have a Christmas Eve fireplace... 🔥 #florida
~ from Facebook

Clementine has decided that the perfect thing to do at 3:45 am is pounce on me and tunnel around in the comforter.

at 3:45 AM
Clementine has decided that the perfect thing to do at 3:45 am is pounce on me and tunnel around in the comforter.
~ from Facebook

Happy holidays everyone!!!° * ★ 。˛ ° .★** 。˛ ° *★* *˛. 。˛* ˛. *.*. ★* °. _I_I_*。 * ./ \ .˛* .˛ 。˛ °˛*.。˛* ˛. *。˛* ˛. * (´• ̮•)*˛° */.♫.\*˛.* ° ° _Π____. * ˛* *。*. ★* .°( . • . ) ˛° ./• '♫' \.˛* * /______/~\*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. * (...'•'.. )*˛ / ★ ˛°.* \ * ˛ I田田 I 門| ╬╬╬╬ . ¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`¬´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯’´¯˜"*°•~´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯Have a wonderful & safe Christmas. ♥

Dec 23, 2017 at 5:24 PM
Happy holidays everyone!!!° * ★ 。˛ ° .★** 。˛ ° *★* *˛. 。˛* ˛. *.*. ★* °. _I_I_*。 * ./ \ .˛* .˛ 。˛ °˛*.。˛* ˛. *。˛* ˛. * (´• ̮•)*˛° */.♫.\*˛.* ° ° _Π____. * ˛* *。*. ★* .°( . • . ) ˛° ./• '♫' \.˛* * /______/~\*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. * (...'•'.. )*˛ / ★ ˛°.* \ * ˛ I田田 I 門| ╬╬╬╬ . ¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`¬´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯’´¯˜"*°•~´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯Have a wonderful & safe Christmas. ♥
~ from Facebook

Happy holidays everyone!!!° * ★ 。˛ ° .★** 。˛ ° *★* *˛. 。˛* ˛. *。 .*. ★*°_I_I_*。 * ./ \ .˛* .˛ 。˛ °˛*.。˛* ˛. *。。˛* ˛. *。 (´• ̮•)*˛° */.♫.\*˛.* ° ° _Π____. * ˛* ˛. *。*. ★* .°( . • . ) ˛° ./• '♫ ' \.˛* * /______/~\*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *。 (...'•'.. )*˛ / ★ ˛°.* \ * ˛ I田田 I 門| ╬╬╬╬ .¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`¬´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°•~´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯

at 5:22 PM
Happy holidays everyone!!!° * ★ 。˛ ° .★** 。˛ ° *★* *˛. 。˛* ˛. *。 .*. ★*°_I_I_*。 * ./ \ .˛* .˛ 。˛ °˛*.。˛* ˛. *。。˛* ˛. *。 (´• ̮•)*˛° */.♫.\*˛.* ° ° _Π____. * ˛* ˛. *。*. ★* .°( . • . ) ˛° ./• '♫ ' \.˛* * /______/~\*. ˛*.。˛* ˛. *。 (...'•'.. )*˛ / ★ ˛°.* \ * ˛ I田田 I 門| ╬╬╬╬ .¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`¬´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯˜"*°•~´¯˜"*°´¯˜"*°••°*"˜¯`´¯
~ from Facebook

I just assembled my daughter’s Christmas present. Which child? I’ll never tell!

at 3:36 PM
I just assembled my daughter’s Christmas present. Which child? I’ll never tell!
~ from Facebook

Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie? If yes, you might cite reasons such as being set at Christmas or that it’s about reuniting with his wife for Christmas morning just as much as ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ is. If no, you might cite that it’s a buddy/caper foil movie, or the lack of violence in most other holiday films.

at 2:23 PM
Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie? If yes, you might cite reasons such as being set at Christmas or that it’s about reuniting with his wife for Christmas morning just as much as ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ is. If no, you might cite that it’s a buddy/caper foil movie, or the lack of violence in most other holiday films.
~ from Facebook

Your politics have no place in my concept of governance by reason and logic. Stop replacing debate and discourse with labels and taunts.

at 2:05 PM
Your politics have no place in my concept of governance by reason and logic. Stop replacing debate and discourse with labels and taunts.
~ from Facebook

The trouble with sending Christmas cards out is I never get into the mood to do it until right about… Now.

Dec 22, 2017 at 2:43 PM
The trouble with sending Christmas cards out is I never get into the mood to do it until right about… Now.
~ from Facebook

You know those people who politicize every post? That’s insane. I mean that literally: insane. Imagine if it was WalMart or spam or cockatiels that they couldn’t stop mentioning. You’d be concerned for them. You’d think they needed a sabbatical.

Dec 21, 2017 at 8:09 AM
You know those people who politicize every post? That’s insane. I mean that literally: insane. Imagine if it was WalMart or spam or cockatiels that they couldn’t stop mentioning. You’d be concerned for them. You’d think they needed a sabbatical.
~ from Facebook

Someone is giving ink slingers free gifts anonymously. So, whoever you are, thanks you sneaky mamajama.

Dec 20, 2017 at 9:09 PM
Someone is giving ink slingers free gifts anonymously. So, whoever you are, thanks you sneaky mamajama.
~ from Facebook

Happy sixth night of Chanukah.

Dec 17, 2017 at 9:23 PM
Happy sixth night of Chanukah.
~ from Facebook

Things people think are true that aren’t: 1. Snopes is trustworthy. 2. Wikipedia is trustworthy. 3. Buying from a smaller seller on amazon is the same as shopping small and local. 4. Search results are completely unbiased.

at 11:02 AM
Things people think are true that aren’t: 1. Snopes is trustworthy. 2. Wikipedia is trustworthy. 3. Buying from a smaller seller on amazon is the same as shopping small and local. 4. Search results are completely unbiased.
~ from Facebook

Crack of dawn for Race Marshal duties at the Holiday Classic. Good luck runners!

Dec 16, 2017 at 7:30 AM
Crack of dawn for Race Marshal duties at the Holiday Classic. Good luck runners!
~ from Facebook

Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Especially in trade-swap-bid sites. Seller describes it as a “Beautiful vase” or something and it looks like the stuff my grandma threw out in the 70s.

Dec 14, 2017 at 11:32 PM
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Especially in trade-swap-bid sites. Seller describes it as a “Beautiful vase” or something and it looks like the stuff my grandma threw out in the 70s.
~ from Facebook

Why do men send dick pics, guys? Another one sent to another friend has me wondering. To be clear, this is not an invitation. I’m just wondering what the hell is in it for the dude... and since not one woman I know has ever asked for or wanted one, but we’ve almost all gotten one at some point, I’m at a loss trying to understand the motivation. Theories?

Dec 13, 2017 at 3:21 PM
Why do men send dick pics, guys? Another one sent to another friend has me wondering. To be clear, this is not an invitation. I’m just wondering what the hell is in it for the dude... and since not one woman I know has ever asked for or wanted one, but we’ve almost all gotten one at some point, I’m at a loss trying to understand the motivation. Theories?
~ from Facebook

I had to completely reorganize my life around a delivery today and now it looks like they’re not coming 😕

at 10:49 AM
I had to completely reorganize my life around a delivery today and now it looks like they’re not coming 😕
~ from Facebook

I’ve run out of chocolate. As a writer, this constitutes an emergency.

Dec 12, 2017 at 8:45 PM
I’ve run out of chocolate. As a writer, this constitutes an emergency.
~ from Facebook

Who wants to be my plus one at the Ink Slingers' holiday party tomorrow night?

at 4:50 PM
Who wants to be my plus one at the Ink Slingers' holiday party tomorrow night?
~ from Facebook

A little laundry day story: My breasts can now defy all reason vis-à-vis gravity. My friend ordered a magical bra promising impossible amazing things. You know the one. It advertises mostly on Facebook and has literal jewelry hanging off it like a harem girl costume. Now, to clarify, if you threw both of my boobs, with possibly a butt cheek, too, into a bra, they wouldn’t fill a cup as well as just one of my friends breasts. They’re, shall we say impressive, nay, intimidating. So when she ordered a custom bra, she did so in a size much, much larger than mine. Yet, when the fancy bra arrived, several weeks late, it was small. It was practically pastie small on her frame. So, she gave it to me. Even on me, with an extender attached, that bra is tight. Like, trouble breathing tight, but my breasts get to defy gravity beyond the point of simple push up bra. They look almost like they are trying to float away upward in this thing. I might look like a hyperventilating ballerina from the 70s in this thing, but my breasts are on point today.

Dec 10, 2017 at 9:25 AM
A little laundry day story: My breasts can now defy all reason vis-à-vis gravity. My friend ordered a magical bra promising impossible amazing things. You know the one. It advertises mostly on Facebook and has literal jewelry hanging off it like a harem girl costume. Now, to clarify, if you threw both of my boobs, with possibly a butt cheek, too, into a bra, they wouldn’t fill a cup as well as just one of my friends breasts. They’re, shall we say impressive, nay, intimidating. So when she ordered a custom bra, she did so in a size much, much larger than mine. Yet, when the fancy bra arrived, several weeks late, it was small. It was practically pastie small on her frame. So, she gave it to me. Even on me, with an extender attached, that bra is tight. Like, trouble breathing tight, but my breasts get to defy gravity beyond the point of simple push up bra. They look almost like they are trying to float away upward in this thing. I might look like a hyperventilating ballerina from the 70s in this thing, but my breasts are on point today.
~ from Facebook

Who do you recommend for appliance repair in Clearwater?

Dec 8, 2017 at 3:42 PM
Who do you recommend for appliance repair in Clearwater?
~ from Facebook

Aurora found something that’s harder to say than Benedict Cumberpatch: Cinnamon Cardamom Tea.

at 2:50 PM
Aurora found something that’s harder to say than Benedict Cumberpatch: Cinnamon Cardamom Tea.
~ from Facebook

Are there seriously three separate massive fires happening in LA right now?

Dec 6, 2017 at 12:22 AM
Are there seriously three separate massive fires happening in LA right now?
~ from Facebook

Does anyone know of a local gym with yoga slings or silk ropes for open use outside of classes?

Dec 5, 2017 at 2:56 PM
Does anyone know of a local gym with yoga slings or silk ropes for open use outside of classes?
~ from Facebook

If you're one of my many many LA-area friends threatened by the fire, please keep up all updated on how you're doing. And stay safe and secure.

at 2:45 PM
If you're one of my many many LA-area friends threatened by the fire, please keep up all updated on how you're doing. And stay safe and secure.
~ from Facebook

Are any of you going to stop being Netflix customers because of the price increase?

at 8:06 AM
Are any of you going to stop being Netflix customers because of the price increase?
~ from Facebook

Just a few goats given to a small destitute village can transform the food landscape and create a healthy barter economy, the first step towards a better future, helping them become self-sufficient. If you’re thinking about sending me any presents or gifting me money,please donate to Heifer Intl instead.

Dec 1, 2017 at 10:20 PM
Just a few goats given to a small destitute village can transform the food landscape and create a healthy barter economy, the first step towards a better future, helping them become self-sufficient. If you’re thinking about sending me any presents or gifting me money,please donate to Heifer Intl instead.
~ from Facebook

We’ve turned Thanksgiving leftovers into soup, salads, omelettes, French toast, and creatively “different” items every day since then. You name it. If I’m spending $200 on food, it’s lasting at least a week, no matter.

at 7:09 AM
We’ve turned Thanksgiving leftovers into soup, salads, omelettes, French toast, and creatively “different” items every day since then. You name it. If I’m spending $200 on food, it’s lasting at least a week, no matter.
~ from Facebook