Five huge bags of Costco candy for Halloween and it’s already gone. So many trick or treaters!

Oct 31, 2017 at 8:16 PM
Five huge bags of Costco candy for Halloween and it’s already gone. So many trick or treaters!
~ from Facebook

Some kid left their candy bag at my house if you’re a neighbor and you see that kid crying...

at 8:11 PM
Some kid left their candy bag at my house if you’re a neighbor and you see that kid crying...
~ from Facebook

All I want for my birthday is a friend to help me move furniture around 🙂

at 7:09 PM
All I want for my birthday is a friend to help me move furniture around 🙂
~ from Facebook

My AutoCorrect thinks I say very banal things. For (four) instance, it just tried to change the word banal to ‘been all’ followed by ‘bin all’. The amount of work involved in getting my phone to allow me use complex or esoteric (‘is it Eric’) language is sometimes not worth it.

Oct 30, 2017 at 2:58 PM
My AutoCorrect thinks I say very banal things. For (four) instance, it just tried to change the word banal to ‘been all’ followed by ‘bin all’. The amount of work involved in getting my phone to allow me use complex or esoteric (‘is it Eric’) language is sometimes not worth it.
~ from Facebook

I love when a Nordic person tells me how lucky I am to have my hair. Yes, lucky. Very lucky to be an oppressed minority. I just know that my ancestors survived the camps with that in mind, that someday I would be able to have hair that holds a style better than yours.

Oct 29, 2017 at 2:32 PM
I love when a Nordic person tells me how lucky I am to have my hair. Yes, lucky. Very lucky to be an oppressed minority. I just know that my ancestors survived the camps with that in mind, that someday I would be able to have hair that holds a style better than yours.
~ from Facebook

If any of you adore handing candy to strange children, you’re welcome to come over on Halloween and keep me company. I expect a thousand thousand little hands reaching out for candy.

Oct 27, 2017 at 7:21 PM
If any of you adore handing candy to strange children, you’re welcome to come over on Halloween and keep me company. I expect a thousand thousand little hands reaching out for candy.
~ from Facebook

Checking out just now, I noticed the asparagus was costing me $15. No thank you. Holy cow! Must have been a bad asparagus season.

at 5:21 PM
Checking out just now, I noticed the asparagus was costing me $15. No thank you. Holy cow! Must have been a bad asparagus season.
~ from Facebook

Via my friend Anja (with permission): I wrote this on this date 3 years ago. I've learned since then that these words have been shared with, and provided comfort to, individuals who were on the brink of suicide...so I'm re-sharing. Feel free to pass it on. You know the saying, "Hope Springs Eternal". It's true. You can't kill hope. Lifetime after lifetime, failure after failure, Hope just keeps coming back. After unspeakable losses, betrayals, sorrows and deprivation, Hope still follows us doggedly, sometimes flagging, but never gone for long. Hope does not respond to logic, reason, or common sense. Even when there is nothing more to be done, there is always something more to be done. Because there is Hope. And hope is perhaps one of the purest expressions of our own inherent eternity, and in our own private faith in something greater, bigger, kinder and more just that what is immediately apparent, than any other impulse we have. Hope is survival, our urge towards a better future; it is rugged, it is faithful, it is blind to barriers and deaf to the sound reasoning of learned men. Hope is an incredibly powerful impetus for positive change. Hope is the best in all of us - and hope never dies.

at 3:28 PM
Via my friend Anja (with permission): I wrote this on this date 3 years ago. I've learned since then that these words have been shared with, and provided comfort to, individuals who were on the brink of suicide...so I'm re-sharing. Feel free to pass it on. You know the saying, "Hope Springs Eternal". It's true. You can't kill hope. Lifetime after lifetime, failure after failure, Hope just keeps coming back. After unspeakable losses, betrayals, sorrows and deprivation, Hope still follows us doggedly, sometimes flagging, but never gone for long. Hope does not respond to logic, reason, or common sense. Even when there is nothing more to be done, there is always something more to be done. Because there is Hope. And hope is perhaps one of the purest expressions of our own inherent eternity, and in our own private faith in something greater, bigger, kinder and more just that what is immediately apparent, than any other impulse we have. Hope is survival, our urge towards a better future; it is rugged, it is faithful, it is blind to barriers and deaf to the sound reasoning of learned men. Hope is an incredibly powerful impetus for positive change. Hope is the best in all of us - and hope never dies.
~ from Facebook

I just discovered a forgotten pair of jeans that 1. actually fit, 2. have pockets, 3. look good on. #impossiblepants #theoreticalnomore #jazzjands

at 7:36 AM
I just discovered a forgotten pair of jeans that 1. actually fit, 2. have pockets, 3. look good on. #impossiblepants #theoreticalnomore #jazzjands
~ from Facebook

The running water in my home is FINALLY not tepid. Brrrr. I love it.

at 7:17 AM
The running water in my home is FINALLY not tepid. Brrrr. I love it.
~ from Facebook

Catastrophe! I’ve been wearing my socks on the wrong feet all day long!

Oct 26, 2017 at 6:55 PM
Catastrophe! I’ve been wearing my socks on the wrong feet all day long!
~ from Facebook

I think peppered salami is my favorite food. Oooh, and with brie. At least today.

Oct 25, 2017 at 1:59 PM
I think peppered salami is my favorite food. Oooh, and with brie. At least today.
~ from Facebook

Just had a random guy mansplain to me about how to drive. Walked up to my truck while I’m idling with hazards on in an alley waiting on a slow delivery truck. I didn’t ask for help or need it but he starts trying forcefully over and over to motion me forward. I refused so he follows his eyes and talked over me as I explained I wouldn’t fit. Kept trying to make sure I knew that there was plenty of room to pass said truck (in a curved alley — there wasn’t, especially not when you factor in the truck’s turning radius). I told him no their definitely was not. He’s chuckling now, walked away talking to literally no one about how women shouldn’t drive trucks and when women get ideas in their heads... Sure am glad I’m the kind of woman with ideas. And I do enjoy my truck.

Oct 24, 2017 at 12:39 PM
Just had a random guy mansplain to me about how to drive. Walked up to my truck while I’m idling with hazards on in an alley waiting on a slow delivery truck. I didn’t ask for help or need it but he starts trying forcefully over and over to motion me forward. I refused so he follows his eyes and talked over me as I explained I wouldn’t fit. Kept trying to make sure I knew that there was plenty of room to pass said truck (in a curved alley — there wasn’t, especially not when you factor in the truck’s turning radius). I told him no their definitely was not. He’s chuckling now, walked away talking to literally no one about how women shouldn’t drive trucks and when women get ideas in their heads... Sure am glad I’m the kind of woman with ideas. And I do enjoy my truck.
~ from Facebook

I just realized I enjoy picking up a close friend from the airport more than sunsets or walks on the beach. I’d like to go back in time and edit all my bios accordingly.

Oct 23, 2017 at 2:43 PM
I just realized I enjoy picking up a close friend from the airport more than sunsets or walks on the beach. I’d like to go back in time and edit all my bios accordingly.
~ from Facebook

Boom. First aid training still easy to recall. That’s good at least!

Oct 22, 2017 at 10:28 PM
Boom. First aid training still easy to recall. That’s good at least!
~ from Facebook

Mostly it’s those silly trick questions toward the end. Someone got a little lazy. But still fun.

at 10:22 PM
Mostly it’s those silly trick questions toward the end. Someone got a little lazy. But still fun.
~ from Facebook

I was going to post about the trampoline coming back yet again after the lawn got mowed (lawn guy moving it? From where?) but IT IS GONE AGAIN!!!

at 4:41 PM
I was going to post about the trampoline coming back yet again after the lawn got mowed (lawn guy moving it? From where?) but IT IS GONE AGAIN!!!
~ from Facebook

Go outside. It’s gorgeous out.

at 9:58 AM
Go outside. It’s gorgeous out.
~ from Facebook

So, if something is at 6:55, do any of you call it “five minutes of seven”?

at 9:05 AM
So, if something is at 6:55, do any of you call it “five minutes of seven”?
~ from Facebook

I can’t believe I have a business meeting at 10 PM. Legitimate one, before you guys start making wisecracks. Such is the nature of working across many times zones.

Oct 20, 2017 at 9:47 PM
I can’t believe I have a business meeting at 10 PM. Legitimate one, before you guys start making wisecracks. Such is the nature of working across many times zones.
~ from Facebook

A have FIVE Costco sized bags of candy and I’m still worried I’ll run out. Halloween gets crazy at my house...

at 2:47 PM
A have FIVE Costco sized bags of candy and I’m still worried I’ll run out. Halloween gets crazy at my house...
~ from Facebook

So much (important!) discussion of icky subjects. Can I talk about unicorns, rainbows, and ponies for a little while? I was obsessed with puffy stickers as a girl. Which meant lots of sparkly sticky stickers of ponies, unicorns and rainbows all over my room, because that was what was available, mostly so I could poke them and feel the squish. It made some people think I was girly, because of the subject matter. Which meant I got unicorn and pony related stuff that I wasn’t attached to. My favorite doll was actually a stuffed animal shark puppet. I loved her. She was given Raggedy Anne’s hat and forced to wear it until I snuggled it off. The truth is I wasn’t into girly things or unicorns or sparkles. I just liked puffy stickers. Oh, that and scratch and sniff. I miss scratch and sniff stickers of bananas that never smelled like bananas, but like some exotic (probably brain-injury inducing with prolonged exposure) chemical that I just adored rubbing and smelling while I was supposed to be napping. I can actually smell it again when I think about them.

at 1:07 PM
So much (important!) discussion of icky subjects. Can I talk about unicorns, rainbows, and ponies for a little while? I was obsessed with puffy stickers as a girl. Which meant lots of sparkly sticky stickers of ponies, unicorns and rainbows all over my room, because that was what was available, mostly so I could poke them and feel the squish. It made some people think I was girly, because of the subject matter. Which meant I got unicorn and pony related stuff that I wasn’t attached to. My favorite doll was actually a stuffed animal shark puppet. I loved her. She was given Raggedy Anne’s hat and forced to wear it until I snuggled it off. The truth is I wasn’t into girly things or unicorns or sparkles. I just liked puffy stickers. Oh, that and scratch and sniff. I miss scratch and sniff stickers of bananas that never smelled like bananas, but like some exotic (probably brain-injury inducing with prolonged exposure) chemical that I just adored rubbing and smelling while I was supposed to be napping. I can actually smell it again when I think about them.
~ from Facebook

In America, we stopped teaching logic and rhetoric as subjects about 100 years ago. We stopped teaching civics 40 years ago. We stopped teaching debate in many schools 20 years ago. And anyone wonders why politics have devolved into lies, slander and hate?

Oct 19, 2017 at 5:19 PM
In America, we stopped teaching logic and rhetoric as subjects about 100 years ago. We stopped teaching civics 40 years ago. We stopped teaching debate in many schools 20 years ago. And anyone wonders why politics have devolved into lies, slander and hate?
~ from Facebook

I'm either seeing an uptick in how many people think "artful" means "artistic" or I'm seeing a surge in the use of the rarer second definition of 'skilled, expert'. Strangely, it is proving very hard to tell which I'm looking at. The uncertainty inherent in that has generated a mixed bag of emotions. I don't know whether to smile and nod or roll my eyes.

Oct 18, 2017 at 3:11 PM
I'm either seeing an uptick in how many people think "artful" means "artistic" or I'm seeing a surge in the use of the rarer second definition of 'skilled, expert'. Strangely, it is proving very hard to tell which I'm looking at. The uncertainty inherent in that has generated a mixed bag of emotions. I don't know whether to smile and nod or roll my eyes.
~ from Facebook

Crap, I have to move my birthday party. Ugh.

Oct 16, 2017 at 2:46 PM
Crap, I have to move my birthday party. Ugh.
~ from Facebook

I was just sending out my birthday party invites, I'm sure I missed a few of you because I've lost touch or forgotten, but it amazed me how many people that I love that are scattered to the winds... so many close friends I could not invite because they're in foreign lands, or Seattle, Portland, LA, and New York. The majority, really.

at 1:11 PM
I was just sending out my birthday party invites, I'm sure I missed a few of you because I've lost touch or forgotten, but it amazed me how many people that I love that are scattered to the winds... so many close friends I could not invite because they're in foreign lands, or Seattle, Portland, LA, and New York. The majority, really.
~ from Facebook

Good morning on another beautiful day!

at 8:53 AM
Good morning on another beautiful day!
~ from Facebook

If someone built a haunted house where the background noise was the screeching of brakes, I'd be a nervous wreck by the end. It is the only common noise that makes me freeze in place. I think it is the scariest noise to me, with a sense of looming danger. Every time I hear it, I silently pray for no crunch. Statistically it makes a great deal more sense to fear it than the sound of great cats or chainsaws or the other Halloween noises.

Oct 15, 2017 at 11:35 AM
If someone built a haunted house where the background noise was the screeching of brakes, I'd be a nervous wreck by the end. It is the only common noise that makes me freeze in place. I think it is the scariest noise to me, with a sense of looming danger. Every time I hear it, I silently pray for no crunch. Statistically it makes a great deal more sense to fear it than the sound of great cats or chainsaws or the other Halloween noises.
~ from Facebook
Oct 14, 2017 at 12:13 PM

~ from Facebook

My daughter has come home to dress a little "murdery" for Friday the 13th. Definitely my kid.

Oct 13, 2017 at 1:04 PM
My daughter has come home to dress a little "murdery" for Friday the 13th. Definitely my kid.
~ from Facebook

Tomorrow's Friday the 13th of October. Go do something spooky or creepy tomorrow. Maybe I'll go chop something up with an axe in the front yard while wearing a white dress or something. Any ideas from y'all how best to be spookreepy tomorrow?

Oct 12, 2017 at 5:04 PM
Tomorrow's Friday the 13th of October. Go do something spooky or creepy tomorrow. Maybe I'll go chop something up with an axe in the front yard while wearing a white dress or something. Any ideas from y'all how best to be spookreepy tomorrow?
~ from Facebook

Is it legal to motorcycle barefoot? The guy was wearing a helmet and all the necessary padding, but no shoes.

at 8:06 AM
Is it legal to motorcycle barefoot? The guy was wearing a helmet and all the necessary padding, but no shoes.
~ from Facebook

Post your pet peeve (as a GIF if you're on mobile).

Oct 11, 2017 at 5:01 PM
Post your pet peeve (as a GIF if you're on mobile).
~ from Facebook

TBONTB, that is the acronym.

Oct 10, 2017 at 1:31 PM
TBONTB, that is the acronym.
~ from Facebook

I out-pied myself. This one's pretty durn good.

Oct 8, 2017 at 4:24 AM
I out-pied myself. This one's pretty durn good.
~ from Facebook

Noice!

Oct 7, 2017 at 8:43 PM
Noice!
~ from Facebook

I recognize that not everyone will like me or treat me well, and try not to assume the few who detest me are batshit crazy. But, so often, life proves to me that I'm being unnecessarily benevolent in my assumptions. So, hey, just be glad we are friends, because the long term statistical data on my enemies? Not looking so good.

Oct 6, 2017 at 6:36 PM
I recognize that not everyone will like me or treat me well, and try not to assume the few who detest me are batshit crazy. But, so often, life proves to me that I'm being unnecessarily benevolent in my assumptions. So, hey, just be glad we are friends, because the long term statistical data on my enemies? Not looking so good.
~ from Facebook

For someone who writes terrifying stories sometimes, you'd think I'd have watched any of the most famous horror movies but I have not. I loved Hitchcock everything, and the original Addams Family comics (not the show), and Steven King, and bleak scifi books and the original Diabolique and shows like the Tales from the Crypt, Twilight Zone and Vincent Price's show while growing up. But I didn't enjoy watching slasher horror. Nor do I now. Haven't seen Halloween or Elm Street or pretty much any of the franchises. Not my thing.

at 4:09 AM
For someone who writes terrifying stories sometimes, you'd think I'd have watched any of the most famous horror movies but I have not. I loved Hitchcock everything, and the original Addams Family comics (not the show), and Steven King, and bleak scifi books and the original Diabolique and shows like the Tales from the Crypt, Twilight Zone and Vincent Price's show while growing up. But I didn't enjoy watching slasher horror. Nor do I now. Haven't seen Halloween or Elm Street or pretty much any of the franchises. Not my thing.
~ from Facebook

I gave my trampoline to my neighbor, who presumably thinks I'm being benevolent, but mostly I'm solving a liability problem caused by her children constantly jumping on it.

Oct 4, 2017 at 6:38 PM
I gave my trampoline to my neighbor, who presumably thinks I'm being benevolent, but mostly I'm solving a liability problem caused by her children constantly jumping on it.
~ from Facebook

Hokey, but true 🙂

at 12:26 PM
Hokey, but true 🙂
~ from Facebook

Every time I share a quiz I aced, it's my equivalent to a shameless repeat selfie. I'm as egotistical about my quiz results as some are about their bikini bodies. I apologize in advance for my next shamelessly aced quiz.

Oct 3, 2017 at 10:06 AM
Every time I share a quiz I aced, it's my equivalent to a shameless repeat selfie. I'm as egotistical about my quiz results as some are about their bikini bodies. I apologize in advance for my next shamelessly aced quiz.
~ from Facebook

Today I abstain. Call it a "mental health day" if you must. I don't think it's healthy to enter the echo chamber of social media when there is so much grief and pain reverberating within. Dollars to donuts you'd be better off shutting off the social media, the news, and taking a contemplative walk to process this news, or perhaps calling one close friend to help them talk it out. It would do us all more good.

Oct 2, 2017 at 9:16 AM
Today I abstain. Call it a "mental health day" if you must. I don't think it's healthy to enter the echo chamber of social media when there is so much grief and pain reverberating within. Dollars to donuts you'd be better off shutting off the social media, the news, and taking a contemplative walk to process this news, or perhaps calling one close friend to help them talk it out. It would do us all more good.
~ from Facebook

Cathartic is: killing off an ex in a story about an author discovering that she has the power to actually kill people by writing a story... To mitigate how good this felt: I also killed the first-person primary character off by making the author a bad guy.

Oct 1, 2017 at 5:28 PM
Cathartic is: killing off an ex in a story about an author discovering that she has the power to actually kill people by writing a story... To mitigate how good this felt: I also killed the first-person primary character off by making the author a bad guy.
~ from Facebook

Stop making Puerto Rico political. That can ONLY serve to slow down aid.

at 9:51 AM
Stop making Puerto Rico political. That can ONLY serve to slow down aid.
~ from Facebook