Considering how basic my ticket is, I'm expecting to be in boarding group ten, and seated just underneath a jump seat by the rear bathroom.

Jul 31, 2017 at 8:35 PM
Considering how basic my ticket is, I'm expecting to be in boarding group ten, and seated just underneath a jump seat by the rear bathroom.
~ from Facebook

I will not be watching the emoji movie, and I will consider all references to it in social media to be attempts at psychological torture.

Jul 29, 2017 at 10:37 PM
I will not be watching the emoji movie, and I will consider all references to it in social media to be attempts at psychological torture.
~ from Facebook

Anyone who didn't like Valerian needs to grow fresh eyes.

at 10:20 PM
Anyone who didn't like Valerian needs to grow fresh eyes.
~ from Facebook

If it weren't for Shakespeare, how much poorer would our language be? If it weren't for the Dutch masters would our paintings still be so rich? I can't help but wonder where the great inspirations for tomorrow's artists are now... who is currently inspiring us?

at 12:30 PM
If it weren't for Shakespeare, how much poorer would our language be? If it weren't for the Dutch masters would our paintings still be so rich? I can't help but wonder where the great inspirations for tomorrow's artists are now... who is currently inspiring us?
~ from Facebook

OK, where do those of you who are female with ample chests buy your bras? Why? Is there hope of a comfortable, supportive yet not-butt-ugly bra? (No piping in, peanut gallery.) And if you say VS, imma reach through my screen and smack you.

Jul 28, 2017 at 9:09 PM
OK, where do those of you who are female with ample chests buy your bras? Why? Is there hope of a comfortable, supportive yet not-butt-ugly bra? (No piping in, peanut gallery.) And if you say VS, imma reach through my screen and smack you.
~ from Facebook

Walked over to the freezer hoping for ice cream, found only gluten-free spinach patties. My freezer has failed me again.

at 6:49 PM
Walked over to the freezer hoping for ice cream, found only gluten-free spinach patties. My freezer has failed me again.
~ from Facebook

In my house, I'm the person people bring jars over to in order to be opened. In case you've dinged your pride and want jar-lid self sufficiency, here's what I've learned. Pressure goes inward, not downward. Tap hard with the back of a butter knife three times first in different spots on the edges of the lid right where it meets the glass, with the intent of denying the lid some but not chipping the glass... and maybe run it under a warm tap if it's got something sticking up the threads. Truly obstinate ones sometimes need a rubber band wrapped exceedingly tightly to help with both grip and pressure.

at 2:37 PM
In my house, I'm the person people bring jars over to in order to be opened. In case you've dinged your pride and want jar-lid self sufficiency, here's what I've learned. Pressure goes inward, not downward. Tap hard with the back of a butter knife three times first in different spots on the edges of the lid right where it meets the glass, with the intent of denying the lid some but not chipping the glass... and maybe run it under a warm tap if it's got something sticking up the threads. Truly obstinate ones sometimes need a rubber band wrapped exceedingly tightly to help with both grip and pressure.
~ from Facebook

I just changed up my privacy settings, I think. If you suddenly lose access to older posts of mine, it's not a sign that I'm mad at you, it's just a privacy thing.

Jul 25, 2017 at 4:24 PM
I just changed up my privacy settings, I think. If you suddenly lose access to older posts of mine, it's not a sign that I'm mad at you, it's just a privacy thing.
~ from Facebook

New York City gets better every day I'm here. I am absolutely enthralled.

Jul 24, 2017 at 11:12 PM
New York City gets better every day I'm here. I am absolutely enthralled.
~ from Facebook

I lerv my sister muchly.

at 4:43 PM
I lerv my sister muchly.
~ from Facebook

The first rule of the game of thrones viewing party is that you don't talk about the game of thrones viewing party.

Jul 23, 2017 at 9:08 PM
The first rule of the game of thrones viewing party is that you don't talk about the game of thrones viewing party.
~ from Facebook

Nom nom.

Jul 20, 2017 at 1:30 PM
Nom nom.
~ from Facebook

Social media needs to get better at not suggesting I befriend the chicks my exes have cheated on me with.

at 11:28 AM
Social media needs to get better at not suggesting I befriend the chicks my exes have cheated on me with.
~ from Facebook

Any of my NY friends who want to meet up over the next week, message me, ok? :)

at 10:08 AM
Any of my NY friends who want to meet up over the next week, message me, ok? :)
~ from Facebook

Neeeeed sleeeeeeeep.

Jul 18, 2017 at 7:13 PM
Neeeeed sleeeeeeeep.
~ from Facebook

Name that skyline!

at 5:54 PM
Name that skyline!
~ from Facebook

Do you ever stop to think about how weird it is that the only people who've known you your ENTIRE LIFE are the parents and older siblings. It just struck me as odd that my mom, who has actually known me all forty of my years, still wants to talk to me. 🤗 Go me!

Jul 17, 2017 at 10:21 PM
Do you ever stop to think about how weird it is that the only people who've known you your ENTIRE LIFE are the parents and older siblings. It just struck me as odd that my mom, who has actually known me all forty of my years, still wants to talk to me. 🤗 Go me!
~ from Facebook

Have you recently experienced someone doing something selfless for you?

Jul 15, 2017 at 2:47 PM
Have you recently experienced someone doing something selfless for you?
~ from Facebook

Does anyone want to come over to my house this weekend to watch the season seven premiere of game of thrones with me?

Jul 13, 2017 at 10:26 PM
Does anyone want to come over to my house this weekend to watch the season seven premiere of game of thrones with me?
~ from Facebook

On behalf of those of us recovering from the shock and worry caused by seeing "Category Five Hurricane" in a headline, only to find out it's being used to describe the White House mood about Russia, let me thank the administration for their considered and thoughtful use of language yet again.

Jul 12, 2017 at 12:56 AM
On behalf of those of us recovering from the shock and worry caused by seeing "Category Five Hurricane" in a headline, only to find out it's being used to describe the White House mood about Russia, let me thank the administration for their considered and thoughtful use of language yet again.
~ from Facebook

An hour of hot yoga to start the day, I got in the car and had to put the defog on because I steamed it up. I feel like a wet noodle.

Jul 11, 2017 at 7:10 AM
An hour of hot yoga to start the day, I got in the car and had to put the defog on because I steamed it up. I feel like a wet noodle.
~ from Facebook

I have to say guys, silicone goes weird quickly. I had a silicone phone protector, and it only took three months to start looking like it was made out of hardened nicotine/snot flavored jello or something. Just something to consider when you're thinking about getting silicone enhancement of any particular body part.

Jul 10, 2017 at 4:33 PM
I have to say guys, silicone goes weird quickly. I had a silicone phone protector, and it only took three months to start looking like it was made out of hardened nicotine/snot flavored jello or something. Just something to consider when you're thinking about getting silicone enhancement of any particular body part.
~ from Facebook

Guys, that spam about Jadyn Smith? Pleeeeeeeease stop forwarding it. It's BS.

at 11:19 AM
Guys, that spam about Jadyn Smith? Pleeeeeeeease stop forwarding it. It's BS.
~ from Facebook

Being up before dawn is the strange cousin of falling asleep early...

Jul 8, 2017 at 6:24 AM
Being up before dawn is the strange cousin of falling asleep early...
~ from Facebook

Pet peeve: clandestine does not rhyme with Palestine.

Jul 7, 2017 at 9:54 PM
Pet peeve: clandestine does not rhyme with Palestine.
~ from Facebook

Does anyone know where I can find someone who can use the Japanese method to repair a piece of china? The kind of repair where if you're missing a piece it is replaced with gold?

at 5:06 PM
Does anyone know where I can find someone who can use the Japanese method to repair a piece of china? The kind of repair where if you're missing a piece it is replaced with gold?
~ from Facebook

I am reminded by an astronomy podcast that being mundane is more work than being extraordinary. You're a spirit clinging to a molded chunk of stardust. The product of an astronomically unlikely confluence of events. Acting more like you recognize yourself as a reverberation of this supreme and unlikely truth is the only true imperative. I myself am saying this while taking waaay too long to get dressed today, soooooo... yeahhhh.

at 2:12 PM
I am reminded by an astronomy podcast that being mundane is more work than being extraordinary. You're a spirit clinging to a molded chunk of stardust. The product of an astronomically unlikely confluence of events. Acting more like you recognize yourself as a reverberation of this supreme and unlikely truth is the only true imperative. I myself am saying this while taking waaay too long to get dressed today, soooooo... yeahhhh.
~ from Facebook

The only problem with gummy vitamins is that I always get somewhere between two and three thousand percent of the recommended daily allowance when they are around. (Pops another handful of gummy vitamins in her mouth...)

Jul 6, 2017 at 4:47 PM
The only problem with gummy vitamins is that I always get somewhere between two and three thousand percent of the recommended daily allowance when they are around. (Pops another handful of gummy vitamins in her mouth...)
~ from Facebook

We were supposed to have flying cars, self cleaning houses, and teleporters by now. Instead we get iPhones. I'm not really sure why the future isn't what it was supposed to be. Someone somewhere forgot to invent something, or maybe we really are in the Mandela effect world, or maybe those things only would have happened if one particular person hadn't stepped on one particular butterfly. I guess iPhones aren't the worst consolation prize, though.

at 4:37 PM
We were supposed to have flying cars, self cleaning houses, and teleporters by now. Instead we get iPhones. I'm not really sure why the future isn't what it was supposed to be. Someone somewhere forgot to invent something, or maybe we really are in the Mandela effect world, or maybe those things only would have happened if one particular person hadn't stepped on one particular butterfly. I guess iPhones aren't the worst consolation prize, though.
~ from Facebook

I've had three of those hard crystal screen protectors break in a year. Obviously they kept my screensaver, but would I be better off with a plastic one that bends? Would it do a better job without cracking? Or would my screen crack instead? Your thoughts?

at 1:51 PM
I've had three of those hard crystal screen protectors break in a year. Obviously they kept my screensaver, but would I be better off with a plastic one that bends? Would it do a better job without cracking? Or would my screen crack instead? Your thoughts?
~ from Facebook

The 5th of July is not Independence Day. So why are half my neighbors still setting off fireworks? #BecauseWeCan #ThisIsAmerica

Jul 5, 2017 at 10:09 PM
The 5th of July is not Independence Day. So why are half my neighbors still setting off fireworks? #BecauseWeCan #ThisIsAmerica
~ from Facebook

Anyone feel like picking me up from the Tampa airport tonight at about 7:40?

Jul 3, 2017 at 7:23 AM
Anyone feel like picking me up from the Tampa airport tonight at about 7:40?
~ from Facebook

I'm super excited about the following things in order of occurrence: 1. Sleeping in. 2. GAME OF THRONES. 3. Finishing my novel. 4. The total solar eclipse.

Jul 1, 2017 at 12:34 AM
I'm super excited about the following things in order of occurrence: 1. Sleeping in. 2. GAME OF THRONES. 3. Finishing my novel. 4. The total solar eclipse.
~ from Facebook