Two Paths

Dec 2, 2009 at 4:29 AM
Yesterday, I was laughing at the jokes in "The Big Lebowski" which had the most swear words EVER (or close to it) and I peeked up to hear Aurora looking at me through her loft window and shaking her head. She looked so disapproving.

I've also been saying things out loud I used to not. You know, zingers, pointing out innuendos with my sister, laughing over and discussing candidly the sex jokes in movies.

Apparently, I'm starting to return to the lusty, bawdy, raunchy sense of humor I had before I had kids. Before "mommy mode" clamped a lid on the stuff it's inappropriate to discuss around little ones.

But it's startling my children. My kids are a little weirded out that I can define/explain pretty much any sex act or innuendo mentioned in any movie. The seem to disapprove of my laughter at the jokes they now get.

Maybe I'm just raising little squares. Uncool cats, to square to be hip to my jive.Or maybe I'm just a little too well schooled for my children's sensibilities.

I feel less in "mommy mode" than I used to. Always so careful to avoid curse words, always having to find interesting euphemisms for things that most people would simply say plainly.

I'm kind of glad my children don't have to be quite so protected from the universe anymore, but the mental dexterity it used to take to discuss "the act"  with my little sister, when around my kids, well - it will be missed. Like mental gymnastics, it kept me on my toes.

I mean, they've both read Pride and Prejudice. We all enjoy dressing up in antique clothes, and the girls are definitely growing up into sensible, precocious, yet innocent little women. Most of the time, everything is still as it was when they were younger. But there are hints, obvious signs the girls are on that wild, overwhelming cusp of adulthood everyone calls "teenage" these days.

So, what's your thinking? Should I clamp the lid back down on my dirty jokes and occasional expletives, so as not to spoil that innocence a moment early? Or should I try to  make my children accept me along with my off-color  jokes in preparation for the harsher reality of the real world?


  1. Mr.Pete. Says:

    You could tell them you're conducting a social experiment and let your hair down and loosen up.
    Tell them you want them to understand what sort of behaviour they might find in the "real" world and that they should observe and draw their own conclusions of what they want in life.
    I suggest not including porn and orgies - I find the thought hilarious - the look on their faces then - OMG! I mean, I know you wouldn't, which is why the thought's so ridiculously funny.

    "Sex" sucks me in and draws my attention units until it becomes my main thrust and fulfillment and I'm spent. sorry if that's TMI. I would advise the proper use of the act as for sharing sensation and procreation. And the raunchiness as
    a form of humor. I saw a couple of sports fan comics who would turn any phrase into a jest and innuendo relating it to plays/moves on a field/rink/arena rather than the typical sexual way. To put it into perspective and show what they were doing, they spoke candidly about sex. Then when referring to a game and player, there was many a smirk, wink, and knowing nod about how it was tight but he slipped it in and scored as though sports was the "forbidden act". The irony was beyond hilarious.
    Guess ya had to've been there.
    The point was the humor in the innuendo is produced by the creative use of words into a euphemistic phrase and that this unexpected use is what makes it funny in addition to the creativeness in getting around the verboten topic. And that this form of humor can be used with anything.
    So have fun, be bawdy, create. And perhaps get it all out of their systems and get them cause over it and able to choose wisely and use it proprietiously.

  2. Kat Says:

    Little squares! Awww, so cute. I love those little squares.

    This happened for me with Haley at about 12, too. Now I don't hold back at all. She's aware, she's reading, she hears/sees things in movies - she knows more than anyone would have guessed, and I'd rather be open about it and discuss it and make sure she has it right and gets through her teenage years knowing she has a terminal who can really talk to her about that stuff - who she doesn't have to be shy about asking, because I'm not shy about it.

    Wouldn't worry about the morals or that they'll miss all the important lessons. You've been setting a good example for them for 12 years and will continue to do so. They've got extraordinarily good heads on their shoulders.

    We're just talking about TALKING, here, and you know my M.O. Better to do the talking there is to do.

    And the plus? You get to express yourself, and your sense of humor, and share that with them now, too. I love it.