face-my-history-book

Aug 3, 2009 at 6:13 AM
At times, I fall a little in love with a singer just while he sings. That's when I know that the song is merely the vessel for the voice, for the kindness and clarity inherant in the artist singing the song to me. And I wish I could spend time in his care, find out whether that person is what their song tells me he is.

Sometimes crying because of a song is more cleansing than a cup of tea or a walk on the beach. I feel purified, like the song reached into me and scoured me clean of the emotion it personified, a harmonic so close to my own feelings that It washes away the intensity of the feeling it communicates.

OK. On FaceBook, I am now friends with exes who broke up with me or who I broke up with in countless horrible ways. Each of these men decided either that I was no good and left, or that I wasn't worth fighting for when I left him.

So why do they all want to be friends with me now on FaceBook?

Do these people wish to truly know me, to truly help me, or care whether I have had a good sunday nap or what my sunsets look like? The minutiae and detritus I hear about on Facebook all the time is the sort of factual garbage that I hoard for telling to my sisters, to my best friends. The right to know that I was taking a bath this afternoon is set aside for my little sister to ask "why?" about, so I can tell her I got all scraped up and covered in dirt readying a chicken house. Or finding out that all my pens are out of ink at once could make my friends snort in appreciation of Murphy's law with me. I don't want to broadcast it out to the entire world. I want to share my moments in intimate contact with those who actually presently give a flying hoot about these things. I guess I still stand with that FaceBook should match reality for the most part.

How do I contract my FaceBook back down to a number of only my close friends again? Is that acceptable to do or will I be banned from "future-land" when it arrives?

I very highly doubt that any one of those men would bail me out if I was arrested, stand up for me to my enemies, or make a recommendation to a friend for me. Or lend me their hedge clippers even.

Do these exes of mine just want all of their exes to see photos of them smiling with their wives in their big old houses and get jealous despite not having thought about them in years?

I can't fathom why my old girlfriends aren't trying to find me nearly as often as my old boyfriends.

2 comments

  1. Mr.Pete. Says:

    Well, it looks like you might have to dump them again... uh, including the ones that dumped you.

  2. Kat Says:

    Yeah. I know what you mean. I have a few exes as friends on there, but whatevr. I know what you mean about the detail, too. Out of nearly 600 "friends" on facebook, maybe three chuckle over any update I post. Might occasionally be a different three. I'm okay with that. I like knowing what's happening with people, even if I don't know them well. I think it is pretty cool. People are interesting. Maybe my 600 "friends" think so too. Maybe they think I'm an idiot. But like I said. Whatevr.