Why oh why?

Feb 27, 2009 at 12:24 PM
Why is the space I get in a sauna limited to the length of a towel? And who decided towels should be the length they are? Not quite big enough to cover everything anyway. If I bring a beach towel with me, will I get the entire bench all to myself?

Why are there more people driving around drunk or stoned on the weekend than there are sober drivers like me? Where did their designated drivers go?

Why is the one-ply transparent toilet paper in public bathrooms hoarded by the dispenser, so that you can only have five pieces before it quites rolling it out?

Why do people ever eat at McDonald's? Dear sweet mother of all things good and holy, that restaurant is just BAD. Why do they keep getting business? Every other Fast food place is now cheaper and better.

Why does public transportation always smell like a urinal? Who pees on a bus? What benefit do they get from doing so?

Why does that lady at the cosmetics counter in the mall want so badly to spray me with cloying toxic gunk? And does she get paid by the spray or by the sale? Criminy.

Why do butterflies need so many dang colors? HOw does it really aid their survival?

Why are there no cats eyes or stripes on the roads here? And why do the other drivers always seem to know where the lanes are anyway?

Why does Portland need a coffee shop on every corner? Why does every single one of them close at nine? Where did the fun ones go that you could play games, read and discuss trite political BS in?

Why does anyone in a tropical island country ever wear shoes? Or anything at all for that matter?

Why didn't I ever get the measles or chicken pox? What made me not get it when every other kid in my class did?

Why are the lines I get into always slower than the queue at another checkout counter? I understand the math of averages makes it a generally applicable truth that the majority of people will always be in the slowest line but that doesn't stop me from rifling through every magazine in a huff while not paying for that article I read.

Why does a babboon have to have such a HUGE pink ass? No really. Was it just someone's idea of a joke?

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My parents once told me they'd never heard someone ask "why?" so often. I was a "why?" asking fool as a kid. That's how come I know that flatworms can divide. That is why I know the difference between Ghana and Rwanda.

That is why I am happy. I can classify and differentiate my world. I ask too many questions.

5 comments

  1. What? Oh, baboon butts have to be a joke, I mean it's to funny.

  2. Grahame Says:

    Why do you ask so many questions?

    :)

  3. Jennie Says:

    McDonald's should stop having the right to call themselves a restaurant at all, considering what they serve isn't really food anyway!

    Chances are, you did have chickenpox. It is entirely possible to have it in such a mild grade that you can't detect it. Only a test can show it. I suspect that's the case with my oldest boy. He's had a gazillion chances to contract it, but he appears to be resilient.

    Baboon's pink ass. Butterfly's technicolor. Peacock's feathers. My Mac Del Rio lipstick. Same same. (Can totally recommend a Danish philosopher/author Tor Nørretranders about that kind of stuff - also in English!)

  4. Shelley Says:

    Ok, so the only real answer I have is about McDonalds. It's the toys babe. It's all about the stinking stupid throw them in the trash later pieces of plastic landfill. That and the fact that once you start eating there (because of the toys) you are actually physically addicted to their food obviously becuase of some very very nasty obesity forming chemical (it's probably in the secret sauce). You actually want a Big Mac, even though while you are eating it you gag later when you think of it you want to go buy another. The only answer is like I said either a drug or something even scarier....

  5. Kat Says:

    Sew two towels together, end to end.

    Chickenpox - I had it twice. S'posed to be impossible, but there I go again, achieving things never before heard of. The 2nd time, it was like 6 bumps. You might not even have noticed it.

    Baboon asses are embarrassing. It's like going to the zoo and having to stare at a HUGE VAGINA right out in the open.

    Perfume counter ladies - you have to keep your eyes peeled for them when you walk into those sparkly department store type places. I hold my hand up and shake my head sternly. Eew.

    Wow, you get 5 pieces of tp from the dispensor? I usually only get 2.