I'm young and bubbly and that is a bad thing as far as men go

Jan 25, 2009 at 7:22 PM
Upside of looking like I'm mid-20s, instead of the 32 I really am:

Younger, hotter men hit on me.

Downside of looking like I'm mid-20s, instead of the 32 I really am:

Younger, immature men hit on me.

Seriously. I know it sounds like a hollow complaint. But, for LTRs, most of the guys who hit on me are just not gonna work. They're looking for someone who's still on the first go 'round, looking for that first spouse, so they can pop out their first batch of kids.

Out of the last ten guys to hit on me (not counting on the interwebnetspacebook), every last one was in their 20s.

But I'm not. I've been around the merry go round a few times already, and I want someone already established. Or at least mature enough to live with the fact that I'm already a whole person. I'm not having any more of those kid things. I have the world's most perfect children (it's official). Why do I need more? All I really want is a guy as great as my kids are, who wants a simple, enjoyable life.

See, here's how this works: I look 5-8 years younger than I am, and I started adult life about 5-8 years earlier than everyone else. Plus maybe the young-looking thing has something to do with that I'm energetic. And I don't do fancy grown up hairdos. (Whatever. Hair is hair. I don't futz with mine.) Or it could be my great big huge buggy eyes. I dunno. Whatever it is, I look younger.

So, when guys hit on me, they are usually poor unsuspecting college age boys who don't realize I'm about 15 years ahead of them in the great wheel of life stages. And that I'm NOT the right age for them.

And men who are ready for a woman at the same stage as me, and to whom I might actually feel a common reality beyond lust, well, they generally don't approach me, and I think it is because they think that I'm too young for them.

It gets fucking lonely on the ranch. Beyond that, I feel pretty danged complete.

And that needs to be OK with him. Which is actually very hard to find. Especially if he's in his early 20s. The idea that a person doesn't NEED him around every second of the day, isn't expecting him to fill in every void in my life, is actually kind of a problem with some guys.

Plus, I've lost a few very good prospects because the kids thing didn't work. He has to get along with my kids (1 prospect lost to that one) and he has to be OK with the fact that I'm done with my childbearing (another few prospects lost to that one).

And that's why it's crappy that I look like I'm in an earlier stage of my life than I actually am in.

So now I need to figure out a way to appear OLDER than I am, so that I can attract the kind of men I actually might be able to build a true relationship with.

How does one start looking one's age? Should I do some highlights with grey hair dye? A month straight of heroin use would probably do the trick, but what kind of man would that get me?

Hmmm. I really don't know.

Maybe I need to get me one of those tacky mid-length hairdoes? I think I'm too old now to learn how to use a blowdrier and curling iron. I've got NO idea how to do all that girly stuff that I was supposed to have learned by now.

Or -- and here's a solution to the problem that it's hard to think wouldn't have negative consequences -- I have to grow the cajones needed to go hit on the right kind of guys instead of waiting for them to hit on me...

Crap. I don't know what to do.


  1. Sleepy Scott Says:

    Yeah, I think it may be time to start approaching the dudes that fit your requirements.

    No need to change anything else.

    Just an opinion.

  2. Kat Says:

    What a weird fuckin' problem, lol!!

    But Scott is right - you're beautiful & that's just how it should be.

    Growing the cajones needed does not have negative consequences. It's the only way, I think, to be causative in this dept., no matter how old you are, or look.

    Withdrawing or waiting for the right one to sweep you off your feet - that's a luxury best left to the actual 20 year olds. And it so rarely happens, even to them.

  3. Mister Pete Says:

    Yeah! It's the pulchritude in yer phiz, that's the problem.

  4. Cat Says:

    Go get 'em! You're a total tiger, and you don't need to change your hair or ANYTHING about you...just go get them. Traditional courting rituals are overrated.

  5. desi Says:

    Thanks Guys. The blond streak helps me look older. Right? Right? Oh crap.

  6. Kat Says:

    "the pulchritude in yer phiz"?!?!
    Who IS that Mr. Pete person? I think I'm in love!

  7. Shelley Says:

    Actually I look my age, plus a bit, plus the kids thing too... no 20 year olds hit on me, only guys in their 50s you really want that?

  8. Try some pickup lines...
    What's your sign?
    Whats an elderly man like you doing here?

    hmmmm... crap. can't think of any. Heck I'm still working on mine, but if I think of anything good for you I will drop back by.