My day of reckoning

Nov 1, 2008 at 9:41 AM
It's my birthday. And it's an odd thirty-something birthday.

So the question is:

Should I celebrate or mourn?

I am now at the age that was the exact middle of the "average life expectancy" numbers for females when I was born. I think the average life expectancy may have quadrupled (along with the size of the average human body) over the last 30 years, but it is still a bit sobering.

I looked back at my life and reckoned it - looked honestly. And I have done pretty well.

I made mistakes, but fewer than I might have.

I lost great loves, but I also had them in the first place.

I have not accomplished what I might have, but the final bell has not yet rung, and the side trips I took were rewarding and productive.

So, I decided not to mourn. I will celebrate instead.

Why not savor life anyway?

Why not take the chance that is created by having a birthday to unabashedly savor my life? Pull it in, swish it around and see what new memories I draw up from the well now that I have so many.

This is part of growing old gracefully. Self peace.

I admire it when I see it.

Of course I gripe on my blog. But you rarely hear about it when I find my center again and recognize that something simply is. You mostly hear me bitch. For instance, I've come to terms with the silver hairs I seem to be growing now. I have come to terms with my oddly saggy cheeks (and I do mean face). I have come to terms with my changed curves.

And I love my life. I really do. I treasure it.

Might as well celebrate it today. That's what it's for.

I simply wish I had more of you around to do so with. But in time, next time I see you, I won't want to be discussing my body's age, but rather our news, trivia and tidbits. So maybe I'm glad I'm not surrounded by you all. I would not want to have to be "al about me" when I haven't seen so many of you in so long.

But you shoudl know that whil I am havign a birthday and today is all about me, I am also wishing I could be closer to those I love in order to give them hugs, encouragement and admiration.

But I wish that every day.

5 comments

  1. I wish you a fulfulling year of happiness, growth, love, and abundance. :-)

  2. Grahame Says:

    Remember this from the Code of Honor: "Never regret yesterday. Life is in you today, and you make your tomorrow."

  3. desi Says:

    Grahame: Absolutely. My life is what I make it.
    Sparkling Red: Thank you! I love your blog. Post more. I'll read.

  4. Happy belated birthday. Did you make a wish?

  5. desi Says:

    I wished to get phone calls from everyone that loves me and it came true. I am a LUCKY LUCKY lady. And I also wished for some other stuff I am SOOOO not talking about in public.