Totem Poles and Hotness

Oct 30, 2008 at 9:18 PM
It took me a few weeks to start spotting them, but I found them.

The gringos here are superhumanly hot. It's freaky. Gorgeous people walking around among us like normals. Tall, windswept and exactly like those people on the covers of romance novels... only REAL. I didn't think the premises in those pulp books were even remotely logical (yeah right, the gorgeous blond french chef with his own restaurant in a quaint seaside resort town is gonna be outside with the construction crew in the hot sun AND just happens to be single. Like THAT would happen!), but these things actually happen here. Seriously. His name's Jean Claude. I was star-struck.

Every time Shelley points out one of these superhumans, and tells me things about them like their job, or points out to me their spouses, I can't believe it. They aren't actors or models, they are teachers or something.

It is seriously hard to believe. And frankly quite a pisser. I'm pretty low on the hotness totem pole compared with the beautiful gringo crowd I see walking around here.

If I keep swimming and exercising every day, and eating basically not much but fruit and fish, it won't be long before I look about as hot as it's possible for me personally to look without cosmetic surgery. Maybe that's why. Maybe they all exercise all the time and live simply and cleanly.

I doubt it, though, judging by the hooker that was spotted hanging out in the Gringo restaurant and the guy with the hooka shop who has all his signs in English.

Ooh! Another sign I'll never be top of this totem pole. Shelley just offered me cake and I accepted! Mmm. Time to go eat.