My Email Sonnet went Wrong

Sep 11, 2008 at 8:51 PM

I tried to write a sonnet about email and my views on it. It didn't work out, because I'm too lazy to make everything rhyme in a pattern JUST SO. But it's still a good poem. I don't care if you like it. It serves as my cathartic. Especially after a week like this week.

I HATE EMAIL

By Desi and Rori and Mandy

Email downloading takes just way too long
The system seizes up with ten meg attachments
That turn out to be from family: Kitty reenactments.
Bland email arrives with Priority at STRONG (!)


Too much arrives and you find you've been spammed
Selling you watches and pills and a job in Cyrillic
Phishing emails arrive and I DON'T find idyllic
Explaining to clients that they have been scammed.


I can't tell the tone or the mood of the writer
So I mustn't respond the way it probably deserves.
My answers get missed because text shows up lighter.
I write something brilliant... and then the server fails to serve.


It takes an hour that I can't bill the client
To answer a question he already gets
About how come the email we find reliant
Won't work when he can't access the internet.


I get repeats of emails only three hours old
From panicky people who want me to fix up
Something not broken that they were already told
Is working but emails got missed in the mix up.


Exclamation points from here to the next page
Will not make your position seem any harder
And really will not make you appear very smarter
(But it does make me want to fly into a rage).


And now I've spent ages writing pithy one liners
About email, that make me feel better by far.
But while I was writing these witty rejoinders
My in basket has stacked up from here to a star.

(My kids and I wrote this together. They think it's BRILLIANT. I feel much better.)

1 Responses to My Email Sonnet went Wrong

  1. Kat Says:

    Oh, I loves it. Especially the last line. You girls ARE brilliant.