Scientology and Children

Mar 5, 2008 at 9:55 PM
My daughters are coming back in the morning from visitation with their dad. They arrive happy, well cared for and generally incredible as usual.

That is not an accident.

My ex-husband and I were very careful to use Dianetic principles when they were infants, to apply Scientology to our own relationship and to the relationships with our children and we currently have happy, bright, drug-free, remarkable, independent thinkers for children. They are extremely good Scientologists. I have absolute strangers come up to me and comment on how well behaved, thoughtful and bright my children are. Often people remark at how well my children get along with each other.

Again - that is no accident of fate. One child would be an accident. Two is hard work and right choices as a parent.

Doing it once is an accomplishment. Creating a life that allows two children to not only get along with others wonderfully but with each other is amazing. I am so proud of both my own choices as a parent - steadfastly applying Scientology to each and every difficulty as it arose -- and I am proud of the kind of father that my ex-husband is. He applies Scientology to his relationship with his children as well.

We may not have been right for each other as a couple, but we're doing a great job raising our daughters together anyway.

How often do people who divorce end up being able to successfully manage raising children together and maintaining great communication? If we didn't have our Scientology basics in, we'd be sunk. I credit the fact that we have reached such an amicable accord, that our children are happy, and that our lives are happy ones in spite of our difficulties and differences with the fact that we simply act on the good ethical principles that our church was founded upon.

The girls read the Way to Happiness - and did the extension course - last year. This resulted in clearing up all worry that they had about how to enter teenage hood, what was appropriate behavior, how they should approach the ethical dubiousness of their friend's behavior at school. The list goes on.

Scientology is so obviously an amazing, workable way to improve the quality of a life - you have to wonder what the heck people are thinking when they suggest that the children of Scientologists are worse off for it.

That's just crazy.

I was raised as a Scientologist. That's right, I'm second generation -- and my kids are third. Even though most of my friends didn't know or care about my religious choices, every one of them was envious of my parents. And they were AWESOME parents.

My father loved to challenge me to think for myself. He would present me with wonderful concepts to solve, provide me with odd jobs so that I felt productive and let me help even when it slowed him down or caused problems. He was ALWAYS incredibly good at making me feel like a whole, worthwhile person. It's called "granting beingness" and I have to say that my dad kicks butt at it. Every person, from 6 months to 60 - everyone is treated like an equal by my father - He applies a policy called "You can be Right" to life. And it has been so successful as a relationship management system -- everyone I know likes my dad. My best friend says he's the best dad ever.

Was this because his parents were good parents? No. Did he learn from their example? They were pretty bad - alcoholism, bad marriages and drug use runs rampant in his family and there is very little stability -- but he's a clean, rational, stable, competent person. I admire him as a person as much for what he IS now as for what he has overcome to get there. You will rarely meet such a good example of a Scientologist. My step-mother is also a wonderful, powerfully effective and competent person who is a rock for me -- just amazing. She's third generation herself -- and her grown daughter is a fourth generation Scientologist raising a fifth.

My mother lives in Scientology's mecca, Clearwater. She showered me with love as a child - I had NO doubt I was loved. She's a wonderful artist, and a great person. I can't think of a person I'd rather have as my mom. I love visiting her and my step-father. The reason I decided to use the Way to Happiness in raising my kids and why I feel it is the best moral code I can teach my children -- is that I have been living by it for the last 25 years - since I was 6. And that is my mother's doing.

ANY time that I would falter or make mistakes, I took a look as my own personal responsibility for the troubles I was having, spotted my own misdeeds (called overts), cleaned up the mess I was in by applying the formulae created specifically for changing conditions in life (called ethics conditions) and got on with things. Because the point of being alive, I think, is to get good things done, to prosper, to make good things happen, and to otherwise create more good than bad. When you're mired in your own errors, or the troubles that can stick you down in life, simple application of the Scientology ethics conditions has NEVER ONCE failed to get me out of it.

Was my mother's unconditional love and sanity as a mother because of her own upbringing? No. Her mother was awful, the kind of person who tries to foster trouble between family members. The kind of person who you have to handle with kid gloves. And yet I never realized this, because my own mother was quite possibly the kindest, sweetest and most caring mom ever. I never saw a hint of it in her own treatment of me. And that was because she was able to address any issues that might otherwise have affected me in her Scientology auditing. I never would have known. She was fabulous to me.

No matter what happened, where we moved, what jobs my parents has, I had a HOME as a kid. I was loved and challenged and raised with morals, and given everything I needed to succeed. That doesn't mean I received THINGS - I received knowledge. Way more valuable.

I was never interested in any other religion, despite studying them. Scientology WORKS - why would I want to mess with that? I don't mix in a bit of this or a bit of that. We're JUST Scientologists.

I've spent the last ten -- almost eleven -- years applying ONLY Scientology to raising my kids.

And while I respect the choices of others and their right to be something else, to mix in other practices, to choose other religions, to use modern psychology in raising children -- I just don't see why you would.

I personally see so many vast differences between children of Scientologists and children raised without Scientology -- and in very measurable ways:

The quality and quantity of admiration, of happiness, and especially of ability to communicate freely with their parents. So totally different. Their handling of misdeeds without drama, confusion and upset, and the general moral character, whether they get into trouble with the law, whether they take drugs. Way different.

Whether they can achieve a decent education and go on to lead happy lives. This is what matters -- and Scientology creates -- in the VAST majority of cases -- a remarkably sane, competent, happy adult. We're not lying when we say that the average Scientologist community is a totally different place than the average non-Scientologist community. It's drug-free, happy, productive, and a fun, free-thinking group.

But only when it is applied correctly. Mix it up or make justifications for your own lack of confront, unwillingness or failings and you will not get the same quality of result.

I personally dislike the idea of the online attacks against such a great group. Can you imagine the idea?

We live in a world where our children's problems are:

Lack of education OR
Inability to Study
Moral Uncertainty
Drug Use
Instability in the home

Scientology has solutions THAT REALLY WORK for all of that. Every last piece of that problem. And the people who use it correctly don't end up having those problems. Ever.

What kind of doofus would say that it's a bad idea to apply Scientology to children?

Especially when I can count on one hand every time in my entire life that I've seen a child of Scientologists who wasn't happy and (having been such a child, then I was a nanny and a teacher, as finally as a mother) I can think of hundreds and hundreds of Scientology children that I personally know who are happy, ethical, and doing well in life!

Those who would say otherwise are trying to lead you down a path that doesn't work. There's no truth in that.

If you don't believe me, take a look yourself if you want. Go to any Sunday service at any Scientology church and take a look for yourself at all the kids there -- ask their parents how their education is going, whether they need behavior modification drugs, whether they have problems with their children that they don't have workable solutions for.

Overall, we've got a great group. Scientology - correctly applied - always works.

Back to the point -- I'm proud of my Scientologist children. They surprise me with their wonderfulness -- far greater than I even imagined.

Read this post in spanish - en espanol


  1. jenny Says:


  2. Cindy Says:

    What a great story Desi. Love it.

  3. UpTone News Says:

    Great story! Well done for taking the trouble to write it all up and blog about it. If every Scientologist did that, the internet would be awash with stories that would get across what Scientology is really all about. I'm first generation but it got me off drugs, I've got others off drugs (was staff at Narconon UK) and... well there's loads more to say - I don't have the time right now, but the point is, it's all good!

  4. Anonymous Says:

    Desi, I am a Scientologist with three children. My wife and I also apply basic Scientology to raising them. Of course, it is often hollow when a parent brags how "great" their kids are so I'll just give objective statistics on each one.
    Oldest Son: top in his school (not just grade) in reading. His teacher pairs him up with 'problem' children to help them catch up as 'he just has a knack of geting the other kids to understand'. He has done a few Study tech courses. Per testing has an IQ in the top 1% of the population.
    My middle son used to have very bad allergies every spring. After aplying some Scientology to it, they cleared up and never came back.
    My family and friends with kids now apply scientology to their kids as a result of asking us what we do.

    For the people who say Scientlogy is not good for kids have never been around Scientology-raised kids!

  5. Milla Says:

    Wonderful post! Thank you so much! :-)

  6. Lerey Says:

    Very well said! Your kids are awesome!

  7. Kendra Says:

    Well put.

  8. Kat Says:

    This is beautiful, Desi. I'm gonna link to you in my new - ta da! - Scientology blog.

    Did you see our pic today?


  9. Stan Dubin Says:

    That's great stuff, Desi. Wonderful blog.

    My wife and I have been married for 29 years and our 29 year old daughter is a real gem. She's very productive in life, very caring, doesn't do any of the stupid and harmful things that give other parents nightmares. And yes, it's because she had a Scientology upbringing from Day One. Well, actually prior to Day One, as we paid attention to some key principles while she was inside of her mom for nine months. All of this good stuff works.

    I left a web address to my blog (click my name) in which I comment on children from time to time. Enjoy!

  10. desi Says:

    Thanks for all the kudos. Yes, we shoudl all be being outspoken and proud. It's amazing how many of us don't speak otu about how great this stuff is more often. I'm not usually one to proselatize, but MAN, that nasty crud out there right now has got to be put straight! It's total balderdash and gives the wrong impression about what we are, what we do, what kind of kids we have. I didn't have it easy, but I feel incredibly lucky to have been born into this family when I did.

  11. Anonymous Says:

    Hey cool!