Desi's Sense of Self

Demented Tumor Cow comes down to my house from a field that's on the other side of the hill. She seems to have strayed away from some local herd. She arrives every night at around two in the morning, has major diarrhea all over my yard (that somehow manages to smell like burning plasticene methane-coated ass), and leaves when my dog Tucker chases her.

She has a huge tumor over her left eye, completely obscuring the features on that side of her face. She's a white and brown cow, quite normal looking. Totally unafraid of me.

She shat all over my dog when he chased her this weekend. Took me an hour with a hose to get him clean.

What do you do about something like that?

I took a picture and demented tumor cow - it came out dark and blurry. Fixed up in photoshop it looks like one of those bigfoot or UFO pictures.

Here it is.